40
PLOTS YOU WILL NEVER SEE ON STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION
- The Enterprise encounters a mysterious energy field, and they've seen it many times before.
- The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without incident.
- The Enterprise visits a remote outpost of scientists and they are all OK.
- Picard, Riker, and Data visit the Holodeck and it works perfectly.
- Captain Picard has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people, but the Prime Directive makes it easy.
- A power surge on the bridge is correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by a well-trained engineering staff using common diagnostic equipment.
- The officers of the Enterprise encounter a new lifeform, which later turns out to be a common, well-known lifeform who was wearing a funny mask as a joke.
- A major emergency happens near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in the area are able to deal with it.
- The Enterprise kicks in warp speed and hits a large planet coming from the right that they didn't see in time.
- The crew of the Enterprise is struck by a mysterious illness, but the cure is found in the well-stocked sickbay storeroom.
- Geordie looks at something through his electronic eye band and realizes he hasn't the faintest idea what he is looking at.
- While being attacked by Romulans, Picard orders warp speed and the Enterprise stalls and won't start up without a jump-start.
- Data is passed over for promotion because he cannot understand the most basic nuances of what people are saying to him.
- Wesley Crusher gets beat up by his classmates for being a geek and he has to start making friends his own age for a change.
- Counselor Troi makes an analysis that states something other than that which is blindingly obvious.
- Riker falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, gets her pregnant accidentally, and winds up having to marry her and he gets court martialed.
- The officers are beamed down to a planet called "Paradise" where everyone is happy all of the time. Eventually, they find out that everything is just as it seems - it's really a neat place to live!
- The Enterprise is involved in a time warp experience and does NOT wind up in the 20th century.
- A mysterious being composed of pure energy tries to enter the Enterprise's computer but finds out it didn't bring the right plugs along.
- Captain Picard, Riker, and Data are captured by a superior intelligence, who apologizes for the mistake and does not put them on trial.
- Picard switches from Earl Grey to Nestea Instant Tea Mix; does "Nestea Plunge" into swimming pool on holodeck.
- Wesley is affected the same as the rest of the crew, and a no-name security guard saves the ship.
- Data's cat, Spot, is revealed as a Romulan spy.
- "Prime Directive" is the word of the day, entire crew goes "Aaaaahhhhh!!" at the top of their lungs whenever it is mentioned.
- Picard fires the phasers.
- Tired of not being sure whether he is a lieutenant or a chief petty officer, O'Brien beams the entire bridge crew into a black hole and assumes the rank of Captain.
- Ten Forward is turned into a strip-joint, with its lead act being Beverly Crusher as "The Dancing, Disrobing Doctor".
- Riker accepts command of another starship, the U.S.S. ZZ Top.
- Picard wakes up muttering "there's no place like home".
- Data states that he cannot use contractions after using one in the previous scene, and the fabric of the universe, unable to withstand the continuity error, is rent asunder.
- Riker doesn't get a woman.
- Geordi gets a woman.
- No guest stars are relatives of Tasha Yar.
- Barclay is really the Captain; Picard is just an ensign, and all of his "command" has been a holodeck simulation.
- Troi runs amok with a machete.
- All of Geordi's lines are in words of two syllables or less, with no pseudo-scientific doubletalk.
- Picard beams down.
- Guinan removes her hat, revealing that she is a Saturday Night Live style Conehead.
- Data swears (!!)
- Worf signs his son Alexander up for ballet lessons.
<BACK TO OFF-TOPIC PAGE>